Breaking Smurfs

Open on Badger Smurf sitting on a park bench.  Snitchy Smurf sits next to Badger Smurf.

Snitchy Smurf: You got any of that blue stuff?

Badger Smurf:  I don't know if I can trust you, Snitchy Smurf.

Snitchy Smurf:  C'mon, man, I'm just looking to get smurfed up.

Badger Smurf:  All right, Snitchy, I guess I trust you.  Let's get smurfed.

Smurfette jumps out from behind a smurfberry bush.

Smurfette:  You're under arrest!

Cut to Smurf Goodman's office.  Papa Smurf and Captain Smurf sit in front of his desk.

Smurf Goodman:  Good news!  Badger Smurf will be out in no time.  Just as soon as he talks to the SDA.

Papa Smurf:  SDA?  The Smurf Drug Administration?

Smurf Goodman:  Yeah, he got mixed up with some bad smurfs.

Papa Smurf:  What if we just had him smurfed?

Captain Smurf:  We can't smurf him, yo!  He's my smurf!

Papa Smurf:  I don't know, that's not a bad smurf...

Smurf Goodman:  Okay, if a good smurfing is off the table, have you guys heard of Prison Smurf?

Papa Smurf:  Prison Smurf?  I don't have time for this.  I'm smurfing of stage 4 smurfinal lung smurfer.

Smurf Goodman:  Smurf me out. He's the smurf that goes to prison.  He loves going to prison and getting smurfed in the smurf.

Papa Smurf:  Let's smurf it.  Set up a deal.

Cut to the insmurfigation room.  Badger Smurf sits behind a desk with Smurf Goodman and Smurfette.

Smurfette:  You're going to jail unless you give us the head Smurf.

Badger Smurf:  All right, all right.  I'll smurf.  His name is Smurfenberg.

Smurfette:  Smurfenberg, huh?  Sounds like a real piece of Smurf.

Smurf Goodman:  So we got a deal.  He gives you Smurfenberg, and he doesn't get smurfed in prison.

Smurfette:  Let's smurf on it.

Smurf Goodman:  Oh gross, what?

Smurfette:  Oh, I meant, like, shake.

Smurf Goodman:  Oh, yeah, no.  I thought you meant something else.

Cut to Prison Smurf sitting on a park bench.  Smurfette watches from a car nearby.  Captain and Papa Smurf watch from behind a smurfberry bush.

Papa Smurf:  I hope this smurfs out.

Captain Smurf:  Me too, things haven't really been going my way since my smurffriend oversmurfed on smurfoine.

Badger Smurf walks up to the bench but sits at the wrong bench.

Papa Smurf:  Oh SMURF!

Captain Smurf:  We gotta smurf something!

Papa Smurf:  Okay, I got a smurf.  You smurf up and smurf in the smurf, and I'll smurf in smurfinsmurf.

Captain Smurf:  I literally couldn't follow any of that.

Papa Smurf:  Just smurf it!

Papa Smurf walks up to Smurfette.

Papa Smurf:  Smurfette, I thought I saw you.  What are you smurfin'?

Smurfette:  Papa Smurf, get out of the way!

Papa Smurf:  What?  Are you smurfing here?

Smurfette tries to see around Papa Smurf as Captain Smurf walks up to Badger Smurf.

Captain Smurf:  Wrong bench, you smurf!

Badger Smurf:  Oh, smurf!

Badger Smurf moves to the right bench.

Smurfette:  Seriously, Papa Smurf, we can smurf later.

Papa Smurf:  Okay, okay.  Don't get your smurfs in a smurf.

Papa Smurf leaves.

Prison Smurf:  You got that blue stuff?

Badger Smurf:  Stuff?  You mean smurf?

Prison Smurf:  Just smurf it over.

Smurfette hops out of the car and arrests Prison Smurf.  Papa Smurf and Captain Smurf high-smurf.  Everybody's happy.

The End.