I recently discovered Get The Max From Netflix, the animated algorithm that helps you choose movies when you’re undecided. Max and I became friends. We did what any friends would do, he pitched ideas of things to do and I shot them down. Soon we grew tired of each other, all the things we liked about each other we soon hated. I felt the need to venture out into other streaming sights. I stumbled into Hulu, mostly because it’s the only other one I know about besides that pretentious-ass HBO Go. When I logged in I was disappointed to find that Hulu didn’t come with a friend. Until I found a secret or “missing” link, this is what happened.
Me: Who are you?
Mark: I’m Mark, how did you find me?
Me: Konami Code, are you a genie?
Mark: No, Genie’s on Amazon.
Me: Like the forest thing?
Mark: It’s a website, are you like clinically stupid or just regular stupid?
Me: I’m just a little behind the times?
Mark: Why did that sound like a question?
Me: We’re getting away from the topic at hand. Want to watch a movie or something?
Mark: Hulu isn’t really big on movies all we have is this Criterion Collection bullshit and some weird foreign films.
Me: Well we could watch the Daily Show or Community or something?
Mark: Or we could watch something funny.
Me: Ouch, how about one of your critically acclaimed Hulu originals like um? uhhh? huh.
Mark: We don’t have to watch something, we could do stuff?
Me: Like sexual…
Mark: I’ve always wanted to rob a bank.
Me: You’re avoiding the topic again plus it’s 2 a.m., there are no banks open. You’d think it would make them easier to rob them but it doesn’t.
Mark: So Denny’s then?
Me: Fine, normally I use Denny’s as my alibi.
Mark: This is going to be like Pulp Fiction!
Me: Oooh…. Do you have that?
Mark: Yeah but not what you’re thinking of.
Me: Well I’m just going to go watch that on Netflix then.
Mark: Shit, this is always how these end.