Super Awesome Mash-Ups

History is full of awesome duos from Outkast to The Lincoln Clones. Duos are probably the greatest form of companionships, mainly due to convenience in the event of Lamborghini chase. Not all great duos are buddy cops, rappers, or Presidential clones; some duos come in the form of one thing with the best traits of both things. Here are the best examples of those type of duos:

“But Zeke that doesn’t make any sense!” – You, being dumb.

Champagne Bidet: Starting off with the fanciest item on the list, it’s exactly what you think it is. If you’re wondering what you would possibly need this for, bad news: you’re probably a poor person. Good news: you’re reading the right magazine.

Bald Eagle Polar Bear Burgers: Everything that went into this burger committed suicide, even the cheese. Despite the name, it’s actually made of cow. Don’t know why it’s on this list. I suppose I could take it off.

Batman McDiehard: Created in a lab explosion from the DNA of Bruce Wayne and John McClane, this is way better than the Dos Equis guy and The Lincoln Clones combined. Without a birth certificate he can’t really get job, but trust me, he’s totally cool and not just a waste of science.

Crystal Meth Chainsaw: A chainsaw made entirely of crystal meth. Need I say more? I do? Well, I’m not going to.

Steak Tornado: This is what happens when a tornado goes through a steakhouse and I’m not even going to cheapen how awesome it is with a cheap topical pun like “Steaknado.”

Sex Astronaut: The highest career path you can hope to strive for; you get paid billions to do nothing and as an added bonus NASA has a space shuttle waiting at all times that you can have sex in. Also you’re the President’s boss.

Grenade Shark: A shark made entirely of grenade *Explosion!*