Super Awesome Things To Do in Any Given Situation

A lot of people come up to me and ask how they can be super awesome in their everyday life. One piece of advice I always give is lying about how many people ask you for advice. Aside from that, generally it’s pretty straightforward. Screaming “Thug Life” before any situation makes it more awesome. Although some situations call for more tact, here’s specific ways you can be super awesome in any given life situation. Which also is the only way I could have made this article’s title any longer.

Lying on your deathbed:
Eat something that makes you poop a lot
Break a world record
Blame your doctor
Defeat an army
Vaguely allude to a giant conspiracy to your closest relative

Graduating School:
Immediately throw your diploma in the trash
Punch all your teachers in the face
Get a job
Laugh maniacally
Sneak in an inflatable sex doll, then have sex with it

Ask how much clearly marked things cost
When something doesn’t scan in ask if it’s free
Try to buy things that aren’t for sale (it’s more funny if you make it racist)
Pretend like you work there and be a total dick to everybody
Buy excessive amounts of one item

Go off a ramp
Transform your car into a sentient alien
Rob a bank
Start a pile up

Adopting a kid:
Ask if it has warranty
Become Batman
Surprise your new girlfriend
Drop your new kid off at a different orphanage
Ask how much they go for on the black market (it’s more funny if you make it racist)